Social Health – Life Lessons

Surround Yourself With Love

In a world full of hate, you must surround yourself with love. People who genuinely love you will never make you question the relationship. They will stand with you in pain and defend you in private or public, but they will also tell you when you’re wrong because they love you. You may see them or talk to them every day, but they’re always just one call away. These types of people create healthy environments, but they may not always include your family members.

Identify your circle of love

You should know who really loves you. If not, now is a good time to find out. If you’re not sure of how, call them up and tell them you want to see them. If they don’t sound a bit excited, they care nothing about seeing you and clearly don’t love you, unless there is some reasonable explanation for their reaction.

I only interact with people who are delighted to see me. Their energy tells me everything I need to know. When I visit my family and friends, their smile is big enough to light the room. If I don’t feel positive energy when I enter a room, I won’t feel welcome and will keep my distance.

Prioritize the relationship

Good people should never be placed on the back burner. However, some people have a habit of hanging around people who don’t love them. That’s how important acceptance is to people. So many people have told me they don’t have many friends but keep an entourage everywhere they go. I understand the concept of keeping your enemies closer, but if you’re always surrounded by negative energy, how do you expect to have a positive outlook on life?

Instead of hanging out with your enemies, pray for them instead. You need to be as closest to people who value you, appreciate you, love you, and care about you. Those are the ones who will show up for you, listen to you, make you feel special, and remember you. Your name will always be at the top of their guest list.

Pray for them

Whenever someone asks you to intercede in prayer, you should. Prayer is more powerful than anything else you can give. Plus, it only takes seconds! However, it’s those prayers that people don’t ask for that are more meaningful.

If I tell you I lost my job, I shouldn’t have to ask you to pray for me. If I tell you I’m ill, I shouldn’t have to ask. If I tell you I just haven’t been myself lately, I shouldn’t have to ask. No matter what the situation is, if you are made aware, I shouldn’t have to ask you for prayer.

Speaking of prayer, when people you love announce their loss, pain, or hardship on social media, don’t just throw prayer hands up without words of encouragement. Better yet, take the time to type a short prayer or send a private message. The phone always works too.

Sometimes God meets your needs through the people he places in your life. Take a few minutes to think about all the times someone from your circle of love has helped you, even if it was just emotional support or prayers.

“Your safe space of grace should consist of people who love you. They are anointed by God to give you immediate access to his blessings.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

Block Evil Before You Become The Next Victim

Why is it okay for people we love to hurt others, as long as we are not the victims? Did you know it could be just a matter of time before they hurt you?

Some stuff really isn’t our business and should not become our problem, but that does not make it okay either. For instance, if your friend is cheating on her husband, you shouldn’t get involved. But you can encourage your friend to seek other ways of dealing with her marital problems before the situation turns out bad.

Nevertheless, if your friend openly admits to being a scammer and you say nothing about it, then you’re a part of the problem. As long as she’s not scamming you (yet), that does not make her behavior okay. You should tell your friend she is wrong and needs to stop immediately. Go a step further and disassociate yourself with her if she doesn’t stop. Otherwise, when she does it to you, you cannot say she didn’t show you who she was.

A relationship is only healthy when positive energy flows in both directions. Associating with a person who has negative energy or evil intentions is no different from listening to bad music. Whether you realize it or not, you are being negatively influenced, and no relationship is worth the risk.

If you happen to hit a rough patch, you just might think about how your friend got away with her last scam and consider it. You may not act on it, if you’re strong-willed and have morals. However, the thought probably would not have crossed your mind had you not been entertaining your scamming friend.

Evil is not limited to friendships. Some people are sleeping with the enemy; hopefully, not you. That influence is more dangerous than the friendship. It’s easier to pick up on bad habits of one you sleep with every day. More so, you are likely to become the next victim. Leave that relationship before it’s too late. If you’re married to that person, you should seek spiritual intervention.

Good always wins. It may not seem like it in some instances, but you will gain peace of mind and sleep better at night. And that’s what counts.

“You’re only as good as the company you keep. Be the change you want to see in your circle.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

Words Do Hurt

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is one of the biggest lies ever told. If this were true, there would be less arguments, brawls, and violence in some instances. Not only do words hurt, but they are also emotional triggers.

Arguments start with words. When escalated, they become brawls. Brawls cause bruises triggered by words. The scars left can be physical and emotional. Most arguments can be maturely settled with the right choice of words, tone, and energy.

Violence can start with an argument, escalate to a brawl, and end with a bullet. Violence is triggered by many factors, but the most lethal weapon is your tongue. In an argument, you have the option to walk away, but you must have the last word. That last word could be just that unless you learn to deescalate a situation or simply walk away. Do you know how many fights were started over derogatory words or the common insult, “your mama”?

Oftentimes, it’s not what’s said but who said it. The wrong choice of words are responsible for many failed relationships, not just intimate ones. I can recall arguing with a former friend over the phone in the past. We both said some hurtful things to each other. I didn’t like what was said, but I didn’t like that it came from my friend more so. I’m sure she felt the same.

Words usually don’t hurt when they come from strangers. But when many of us feel disrespected, we’re ready to start a fire. You can definitely walk away from most of those instances. That parking spot does not call for a Glock, and that spot in line ain’t worth doing time. Him telling you he wasn’t moving didn’t hurt your feelings, it hurt your pride.

When used appropriately, words can be used to comfort, encourage, empower, inspire, uplift, and motivate. Words can make people feel loved, liked, appreciated, valued, and important. If you like to feel any of these ways, then choose your words wisely.

“If your words bring people down, then don’t expect anyone else’s to lift you up.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽