Social Health – Life Lessons

Block Evil Before You Become The Next Victim

Why is it okay for people we love to hurt others, as long as we are not the victims? Did you know it could be just a matter of time before they hurt you?

Some stuff really isn’t our business and should not become our problem, but that does not make it okay either. For instance, if your friend is cheating on her husband, you shouldn’t get involved. But you can encourage your friend to seek other ways of dealing with her marital problems before the situation turns out bad.

Nevertheless, if your friend openly admits to being a scammer and you say nothing about it, then you’re a part of the problem. As long as she’s not scamming you (yet), that does not make her behavior okay. You should tell your friend she is wrong and needs to stop immediately. Go a step further and disassociate yourself with her if she doesn’t stop. Otherwise, when she does it to you, you cannot say she didn’t show you who she was.

A relationship is only healthy when positive energy flows in both directions. Associating with a person who has negative energy or evil intentions is no different from listening to bad music. Whether you realize it or not, you are being negatively influenced, and no relationship is worth the risk.

If you happen to hit a rough patch, you just might think about how your friend got away with her last scam and consider it. You may not act on it, if you’re strong-willed and have morals. However, the thought probably would not have crossed your mind had you not been entertaining your scamming friend.

Evil is not limited to friendships. Some people are sleeping with the enemy; hopefully, not you. That influence is more dangerous than the friendship. It’s easier to pick up on bad habits of one you sleep with every day. More so, you are likely to become the next victim. Leave that relationship before it’s too late. If you’re married to that person, you should seek spiritual intervention.

Good always wins. It may not seem like it in some instances, but you will gain peace of mind and sleep better at night. And that’s what counts.

“You’re only as good as the company you keep. Be the change you want to see in your circle.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

Words Do Hurt

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is one of the biggest lies ever told. If this were true, there would be less arguments, brawls, and violence in some instances. Not only do words hurt, but they are also emotional triggers.

Arguments start with words. When escalated, they become brawls. Brawls cause bruises triggered by words. The scars left can be physical and emotional. Most arguments can be maturely settled with the right choice of words, tone, and energy.

Violence can start with an argument, escalate to a brawl, and end with a bullet. Violence is triggered by many factors, but the most lethal weapon is your tongue. In an argument, you have the option to walk away, but you must have the last word. That last word could be just that unless you learn to deescalate a situation or simply walk away. Do you know how many fights were started over derogatory words or the common insult, “your mama”?

Oftentimes, it’s not what’s said but who said it. The wrong choice of words are responsible for many failed relationships, not just intimate ones. I can recall arguing with a former friend over the phone in the past. We both said some hurtful things to each other. I didn’t like what was said, but I didn’t like that it came from my friend more so. I’m sure she felt the same.

Words usually don’t hurt when they come from strangers. But when many of us feel disrespected, we’re ready to start a fire. You can definitely walk away from most of those instances. That parking spot does not call for a Glock, and that spot in line ain’t worth doing time. Him telling you he wasn’t moving didn’t hurt your feelings, it hurt your pride.

When used appropriately, words can be used to comfort, encourage, empower, inspire, uplift, and motivate. Words can make people feel loved, liked, appreciated, valued, and important. If you like to feel any of these ways, then choose your words wisely.

“If your words bring people down, then don’t expect anyone else’s to lift you up.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

Lifetime Friendship

Does it even exist anymore? I expect to see breakups among intimate partners, but I have never seen so many long term friendships become terminal. My mom still keeps in contact with friends from childhood and so do I. Love, loyalty, and longevity are our key ingredients.

I can tell from social media posts that many friendships don’t have that anymore. Maybe the dynamics of friendship have changed. Or, maybe people have changed. Let’s discuss…

What is Lifetime Friendship?

My definition of a lifetime friendship is one in which the bond created between two friends is never broken by change or challenges, yet strengthened with love and communication. Simple as that. There are no clauses or contingencies. Either you are a loyal friend or not.

An individual can become your lifetime friend at any point in your life, not just childhood. Three of my lifetime friends did not enter my life until I was 20 years old. We connected from day one and have not lost contact since. We’ve been friends for a long time and will continue the friendship no matter what.

I’ve been there for them, and they have been there for me. But you know something? We never talked and texted daily after we stopped working together. There were also extended periods where we hadn’t spoken, minus holidays and birthdays. When social media became a thing, it replaced many of our phone conversations.

Nevertheless, I never had to wonder if they were still my friends. I never felt any distance because they had a special place in my heart. When it did get to a point where we hadn’t spoken in a while, then one of us would break the ice and reach out.

Whenever we reconnected, we simply picked up where we left off. That same joy, laughter, and cheer sparked in every conversation. We’d talk about how much we love and miss each other without expressing any resentment. Good vibes only.

Is True friendship the same as Lifetime Friendship?

No. A true friendship is one in which loyalty is exhibited, but it may only be seasonal. Lifetime friendship is a type of true friendship. Unlike seasonal friendship, it does not have an expiration date.

I have been in quite a few true friendships that were only seasonal, lasting only for the duration in which went to school or worked together. However, we never argued or fell out. We just lost contact a few years after attending school or work together, and the connection just somehow weakened, or we grew apart.

If you ever need to question a friendship, then it probably isn’t real. You must sense jealousy, envy, hate or discord. At that point, you should reach out to your friend by phone or a meetup, if you do not believe the tone of your message will be received properly.

Rare but Valuable

Lifetime friends will respect your boundaries and distance without ever losing love for you.

They accept your flaws and all.

They love you endlessly and fight your battles with you.

They give sound advice and never gossip about you.

They are not perfect, but they are accountable and will hold you accountable.

They treat you the same as other lifetime friends, regardless of when you came into their lives.

They are always just a phone call or text message away whenever you need them, even if they hadn’t heard from you in a while.

Consequently, that type of friend is hard to find nowadays. The one who engages with you the most on social media is not your lifetime friend or even true friend. He or she is only a follower. Know the difference.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

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