The Nuances and Nuisances of Colorism

Imagine there were 50 shades of black. Then point to where you fall on the color spectrum. If your value depended on color, the lighter end of the spectrum, would you feel privileged or better than the others? Given the opportunity to think about it, you might say no. Color doesn’t matter. But your behavior often overshadows your beliefs. Otherwise, you would not identify as red bone, yellow bone, or fair skin. Beautiful Black Queen would suffice.

And when are we going to stop looking at the baby’s ear to determine his or her chances of turning dark? Why should the child’s color matter? Even if both parents are light skin , there is still a chance of the child having some color. I’ve seen it! We love to see color in television, pictures, art, outfits, hair, pretty much everything but skin complexion. We love it so much until we see it in ourselves.

I don’t care whether you are the darkest brown to the lightest brown, yellow, red, or in between, you are all beautiful. That’s what I love about us. We come in so many different shades and wear them all extremely well. How dare they say we all look alike!

I love to see my dark skin sisters in bright colors and dark or red hair.

I love to see my brown skin sisters in bright or warm colors with dark or honey blonde hair (#27 & #30).

I love to see my light skin sisters in dark colors and blonde hair.

I’m not putting limits on what you can wear and how you wear it. Do you! These are only examples of what I love to see. But what I love to see the most is a mixture of all shades in one group. Such a beautiful site to see!

Beauty is only skin deep….Is it really?

How come we don’t define other races’ beauty by their skin complexion? Is it that we have been programmed to believe that anyone who is lighter gets bonus beauty points by default? Is it that they check every box in the beauty department without question? (skin complexion, hair, facial features) I never hear my people highlight their skin complexion when judging their appearance. They are either attractive or unattractive, but their color typically never has anything to do with their judgment.

However, it’s not our fault. Society has separated us by color and shown more favor to people with lighter complexions. The issue is also present among Asians. But no one carries the burden like a dark-skinned, nappy-headed African American. So while you’re highlighting your light complexion in a harmless way, just remember that your dark skin child may not reap the same benefits as you. That tall, dark, and handsome man you chose may produce a darkie. And when he does, you’d better teach him or her that black is beautiful, and the two of you are no different. Remember, when that cop pulls you over, you’re still a nigger.

My Background

Growing up in my household, we were not separated by color. About half of us are light skin, and the other half is dark skin. Until this day, none of my light skin sisters identify as red bone or yellow bone. They don’t see a difference because it doesn’t change our race or who we are.

Our parents treated us all the same. I cannot recall one time in my life that my parents treated me any differently from my light skin sisters. I knew that I was loved and favored by all my family members.

Nevertheless, bad treatment among dark skin children is indeed common in some Black households or families, including daycares and schools.

What can we do about it?

Stop telling the Black woman she is cute for a dark skin chick. It’s not a compliment. It’s actually an insult. Either she’s cute or not, but her skin complexion shouldn’t have anything to do with it.

Stop letting your light skin complexion define your beauty. Drop the red bone and yellow bone. Those terms were used to separate us. Let your true beauty speak for itself. Besides, beauty comes in all shades.

This one is particularly for Black men. When referring to an attractive Black woman, stop putting emphasis on her light complexion first. I don’t think you mean any harm, and some of you may do it subconsciously, but you are part of the problem. Just say she’s an attractive Black woman🙄.

You can still have your preference. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But if you believe one looks better than the other based on color, then you’re color blind, brainwashed, and mentally enslaved.

Celebrity’s Choice

We can’t stop the rappers. Their job is to sell records. I don’t know what putting a light skin woman first has to do with it, but mentioning them as a color preference tends to be their favorite bars (lyrics).

Then your other favorite Black celebrities, who have the pick of the draw, go beyond color. They go for a whole different race. Again, that is their preference. But it does look like the more successful you are as a Black man, the more likely you are to choose a light skin woman, as if dark skin woman are not good enough.

Meanwhile, we’re trying to teach little dark skin girls that they are just as beautiful, but our own people are showing them that they are not the preferred choice. And you wonder why she has a hard time loving herself? It’s easy to say that people need to love themselves but can be harder to do when rejected by their own people.

People, you are entitled to a preference. I prefer vanilla ice cream over chocolate, and in my opinion, it does taste better. But we can’t treat each other like we treat ice cream. As Black people, we should all be able to share the same story, but we can’t because of the damage we’ve done to each other and what we have allowed from others.

To My Brown Skin Girls🗣️

Stop claiming melanin only when you think it matters, yet you return to skin lightening and contouring with makeup once the movement is over. Black power comes in all shades as well. I’m glad we can still come together for a freedom fight or to reform justice for one of our own, regardless of color, but the little battles within matter too. However, those start with You.

“Don’t let your light complexion create a misperception of who you are. Remember, every color has its own identity until mixed with black.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

Share Button

He’s Not Yours

From woman to woman, he’s not yours and never will be. So, it’s best to leave him alone before the situation calls for a serious conversation neither you are ready to have about an issue that may require tissue.

So, you’re having fun right? At least, that’s what you say. I hear women use that as an excuse for their actions all the time. I don’t want to hear about men do it all the time or you’re just “doing you”. It’s all fun and games until you accidentally fall in love.

It’s true. Men do cheat all the time and have done so for a long time, but this particular blog is not about them. It’s about us because we instill morals and values in our children at an early age. We teach our little girls how to sit, dress, talk, and act in public.

We teach them the value of being a woman and to know our worth. But the lessons that make the biggest impacts are those we show them. If you think your daughter doesn’t have sense enough to know what’s going on, many times, you are wrong.

She knows why he can’t stay for dinner. She knows why he can’t make her track meet. She knows why she’s never met any of his relatives or friends. She knows that he ain’t for you.

I can’t say I agree with all these podcasters’ take on dating women today, but I can tell you you’ll never get the same respect as men for doing what they do. It’s not fair and never has been but neither is life. Besides, you need to think about how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. You certainly wouldn’t have positive thoughts of that woman. We must stop believing these men when they say they’re going to leave their wives or significant others.

So what he told you he loves you. He tells her that too. Love is just a four letter word without action. There’s no way he can fully execute his love for you as long as he’s still with her. The lie always feels better than the truth until he gives you the boot.

Sis, give it up…..He’s not yours.

Do you ever stop to think that the way he got with you could be the same way he leaves you as well? It happens all the time. Even if you do manage to stay together, your relationship won’t be a fairy tale. There will forever be trust issues because of how the two of you got together.

“Why settle for less when you deserve the best? You’re worth more than sloppy seconds. Wipe your tears and learn from this lesson.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

Share Button

Allow Yourself To Be Yourself

What exactly is an exceptional human being? Is it one who’s perfect or does everything right? Or is it one with the perfect public demeanor but an evil spirit? Society puts too many expectations on us to be perfect. Truth is, none of us is.

Think about the grading scale for starters. You’re not an exceptional student unless you make straight A’s. You’re not a scholar unless you go to college. You’re not the exceptional college student unless you graduate with honors!

Then there’s Black, White, and Brown. Even though black fortifies all colors, you’re not an exceptional negro unless you can entertain. Then once you become famous, you get stripped of your voice, choices, and natural being. Your contract compromises your loyalty. Your dating partner perpetuates the stereotype that comes with status. You might become exceptional, but your realness becomes rare.

So where does the typical, every day working-class citizen fit on the spectrum of exceptional? No where because you’re rare. You don’t try to meet anyone else’s standards and requirements because you set your own. You don’t care about appealing to the public’s eyes because you’re a private person. You don’t care about anyone else’s perception because it might change your direction. And you don’t let society shape your opinion about things because you have your own mind.

Can you be rare and exceptional?

Absolutely! But it’s by default not pressure. What I mean is that your natural knack for something can earn you credit. It doesn’t always have to be competitive. The quiet, reserved kid often gains popularity for gaining a title he didn’t have to fight for. However, he gets crowned exceptional for being highly intelligent. In my opinion, an exceptional person is one who wins a race without trying hard.

Why I choose to be rare over exceptional?

Because I answer to no one. If I don’t agree with a societal norm, no one can tell me I can’t. I don’t conform to the norm. If I make a mistake because I’m not having a good day, no one can reduce my credibility. I’ve already taken ownership and apologized for it. If I change my mind about something, no one can call me inconsiderate because I have a strong track record for honoring requests.

I get to be myself in public because nothing about the real me is private. I don’t care that some people think I’m mean because I must be careful of who I’m nice to. I actually like not being approachable because it can send the wrong message to people with evil intentions.

Quit letting society define who you are. You don’t need to be liked by everyone. People will chew you up and spit you out the moment you fail to keep up your facade. If you had to compete to get where you are, then you’ll have to fight to stay there.

“Every one of us is exceptional in God’s eyes, but only the rare ones keep his commandments.”

-Bianca McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

Share Button