choices – Life Lessons

Living A Blessed Life

Your best life is a blessed life. If you’re reading this, you were blessed with sight, internet access, and the ability to touch. Doesn’t seem like much until you meet someone who cannot do all of the above.

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, try focusing on what you do have. I know it’s easier said than done at times, but you need to practice. Why? Because negative thinking leads to worrying. Worry leads to stress, and stress is the gateway to depression. You’ll find yourself eating too much or too less, or spending excessively, to name a few. Worst of all, you may pick up on a bad habit like smoking.

You may also need to take a step back from social media. Social media will give you a false representation of other people’s lives. Some people are living their best lives, and some are making it look that way. I love to see people in healthy relationships, taking nice vacations, and sharing their achievements. It’s inspiring! However, you have no idea of the trials and tribulations they face and what cross they may have to bear, so just be happy for them, and pray for those who are fabricating the life they desire.

Over the years, I’ve learned some disheartening things about people who I thought had it all together. I wish I had not known because I was rooting for them and relishing in their wins. Some people have nothing to say until they learn about one’s failures or fate. I often hear things like, “I didn’t know”. It’s because you didn’t need to know about the pain behind their progress. You were supposed to be rooting for them regardless.

Before I close, I’m going to dissect the phrase, “living my best life”. It simply means that the worst is behind you, you’re unbothered, and/or you’ve learned not to let your problems keep you from living. It has nothing to do with money or success. If you’re not living your best life, then learn to be okay with living your blessed life.

“The best thing about life is that you don’t have to do it all by yourself. When it gets too hard, give it to God🙏🏽”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

He’s Not Yours

From woman to woman, he’s not yours and never will be. So, it’s best to leave him alone before the situation calls for a serious conversation neither you are ready to have about an issue that may require tissue.

So, you’re having fun right? At least, that’s what you say. I hear women use that as an excuse for their actions all the time. I don’t want to hear about men do it all the time or you’re just “doing you”. It’s all fun and games until you accidentally fall in love.

It’s true. Men do cheat all the time and have done so for a long time, but this particular blog is not about them. It’s about us because we instill morals and values in our children at an early age. We teach our little girls how to sit, dress, talk, and act in public.

We teach them the value of being a woman and to know our worth. But the lessons that make the biggest impacts are those we show them. If you think your daughter doesn’t have sense enough to know what’s going on, many times, you are wrong.

She knows why he can’t stay for dinner. She knows why he can’t make her track meet. She knows why she’s never met any of his relatives or friends. She knows that he ain’t for you.

I can’t say I agree with all these podcasters’ take on dating women today, but I can tell you you’ll never get the same respect as men for doing what they do. It’s not fair and never has been but neither is life. Besides, you need to think about how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. You certainly wouldn’t have positive thoughts of that woman. We must stop believing these men when they say they’re going to leave their wives or significant others.

So what he told you he loves you. He tells her that too. Love is just a four letter word without action. There’s no way he can fully execute his love for you as long as he’s still with her. The lie always feels better than the truth until he gives you the boot.

Sis, give it up…..He’s not yours.

Do you ever stop to think that the way he got with you could be the same way he leaves you as well? It happens all the time. Even if you do manage to stay together, your relationship won’t be a fairy tale. There will forever be trust issues because of how the two of you got together.

“Why settle for less when you deserve the best? You’re worth more than sloppy seconds. Wipe your tears and learn from this lesson.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

Allow Yourself To Be Yourself

What exactly is an exceptional human being? Is it one who’s perfect or does everything right? Or is it one with the perfect public demeanor but an evil spirit? Society puts too many expectations on us to be perfect. Truth is, none of us is.

Think about the grading scale for starters. You’re not an exceptional student unless you make straight A’s. You’re not a scholar unless you go to college. You’re not the exceptional college student unless you graduate with honors!

Then there’s Black, White, and Brown. Even though black fortifies all colors, you’re not an exceptional negro unless you can entertain. Then once you become famous, you get stripped of your voice, choices, and natural being. Your contract compromises your loyalty. Your dating partner perpetuates the stereotype that comes with status. You might become exceptional, but your realness becomes rare.

So where does the typical, every day working-class citizen fit on the spectrum of exceptional? No where because you’re rare. You don’t try to meet anyone else’s standards and requirements because you set your own. You don’t care about appealing to the public’s eyes because you’re a private person. You don’t care about anyone else’s perception because it might change your direction. And you don’t let society shape your opinion about things because you have your own mind.

Can you be rare and exceptional?

Absolutely! But it’s by default not pressure. What I mean is that your natural knack for something can earn you credit. It doesn’t always have to be competitive. The quiet, reserved kid often gains popularity for gaining a title he didn’t have to fight for. However, he gets crowned exceptional for being highly intelligent. In my opinion, an exceptional person is one who wins a race without trying hard.

Why I choose to be rare over exceptional?

Because I answer to no one. If I don’t agree with a societal norm, no one can tell me I can’t. I don’t conform to the norm. If I make a mistake because I’m not having a good day, no one can reduce my credibility. I’ve already taken ownership and apologized for it. If I change my mind about something, no one can call me inconsiderate because I have a strong track record for honoring requests.

I get to be myself in public because nothing about the real me is private. I don’t care that some people think I’m mean because I must be careful of who I’m nice to. I actually like not being approachable because it can send the wrong message to people with evil intentions.

Quit letting society define who you are. You don’t need to be liked by everyone. People will chew you up and spit you out the moment you fail to keep up your facade. If you had to compete to get where you are, then you’ll have to fight to stay there.

“Every one of us is exceptional in God’s eyes, but only the rare ones keep his commandments.”

-Bianca McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽