Life Lessons

Forgive Without Regret

The toughest part about forgiveness is forgiving. It’s even harder when you have to forgive a person who is unapologetic or oblivious. Consequently, it’s sometimes easier said than done.

I don’t believe in forgive and forget, but I do believe that one should forgive without regret. One way you can tell you haven’t truly forgiven a person is if you have ill feelings about he or she from time to time or when someone speaks of him or her. Another way is if the least little thing he or she does or says tick you off. Does that sound like you? If so, you need to find that soft spot in your heart that’s been tampered with, and replace the hurt with love. That’s what forgiveness is all about. Where there’s love, there’s no room for hate, resentment, or regret. Bitterness of the heart disrupts the mind, and that’s why his or her wrongdoing(s) keep showing up in your thoughts. This is eventually going to take a toll on you,’for when you don’t forgive wholeheartedly, you allow that person to have power and control over you. That person begins to consume much of your thoughts and affect your attitude’ (I’m GOOD, ch.2 pg 32, to be released in July of 2016). You can’t even enjoy life because you can’t seem to get over how that person has wronged you. In the meantime, he or she has moved on with life, caring less about whether or not you’ve forgiven him or her. People with this type of attitude either don’t see how they’ve wronged you or simply don’t care because they are fools. You can’t offer a fool nothing but love because they need it most. Don’t worry. Karma ain’t cute, and bad seeds grow weeds. Just remember that when you forgive, it’s for you, not them.

If you are finding it hard to forgive someone, take some time to let your heart heal a bit. Some wounds take longer to heal than others. The rightful thing to do would be to forgive immediately, but humans don’t work like that. Take a realistic approach to the situation by first talking to the person who’s wronged you, if at all possible. There may have been some underlying problem that caused he or she to hurt you. I’m not making any excuses for the wrongdoer, but people are entitled to make mistakes, including you. When you do find it in your heart to forgive that person, distance may be best, if trust was lost. Forgiving does not equate to being foolish. Every situation may very, so you’ll have to use your own judgment. Nevertheless, you will be judged, if you don’t forgive at all.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

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Photo: Adobe Stock. Freedom Concept by Vchalup

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Don’t Give Up Just Yet

Giving up is common because it is one of the easiest things to do, besides making excuses. Have you ever tried to put a difficult puzzle together? Or better yet, have you ever tried to solve Rubik’s colored cube puzzle? Seems like every time I got close, I just gave up. Life makes you want to give up sometimes. I said life makes you want to give up sometimes. I know I’m talking to somebody. I can’t be the only one who has every felt that way. Well, I’m here to tell you that usually when you give up on something, you are actually closer than you think. “When you give up on something that is important to you, you set the mark for failure” (I’m GOOD, Chapter 8, pg 125).

It’s easy to get through life without facing obstacles, but those stories are only told in fiction books. I’ve had enough setups and setbacks to make me lose my mind. I thought all my problems would be solved after I graduated from college. Not. Then, I thought I could get away from them by moving to Texas because people seem to flourish there. Nope, not for me. If you only knew how difficult it was solving the puzzle in my own life, you wouldn’t throw the towel in just yet. I’ve had more no’s than yes’s. More failures than successes. More debt than credit. Did I survive? You bet!

As stated in my book, I’m GOOD, to be released in July of 2016, “Whatever is impeding your success, it is creating substantial stress in your life. Winning is never easy, but losing is even harder. Don’t let your losses be an excuse to give up. Opportunity only knocks where there is a door. You can’t be still standing and torn down at the same time. That’s an oxymoron! If you don’t have a plan for success, you can surely plan to fail.” Yep. You will fail because you gave up on yourself. If you really think about it, life gives you more than second chances. It’s not that you kept missing the ball. You stopped going for it.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topics suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

Photo: Flickr. Don’t Give Up by Alison Phillips

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Pat Yourself On The Back

“I’ve worked hard on that report, yet you offered no support. I even stayed after hours because my days seemed short. I was so into my work, so I didn’t keep track of time. I really wanted to impress you, but you paid me no mind. If you knew the effort I put forth, you would’ve said more than “thanks”. I guess the next time I’ll just have to fill in the blanks.”

I know it feels good when someone tells you “good job” or “keep up the good work”, but sometimes you have to pat yourself on the back. Top level employees often do not realize how hard lower level employees work and how just an ounce of appreciation can increase employee morale. It can also determine whether or not an employee will pursue longevity with that employer. So in other words, a simple sign of gratitude can increase employee morale and decrease turnover. If you think about it, employees would get more work done with less complaining and complaints against them. Employers can relax knowing that their business is in good hands, and they don’t have to spend so much time and money hiring new employees. It’s a win win! People who love their jobs usually don’t leave them.

Some employers are great at extending their appreciation, whereas others are not. They haven’t learned the simple formula yet, and maybe they never will. If you work for one of them, you’ll have to learn to pat yourself on the back until you find an employer that will recognize your contributions to the company. No employee should ever feel under-appreciated because a business cannot fully function without employees. However, because you need your job to sustain your living, keep up the good work and be the invisible hand that motivates you.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

Photo: Flickr Accepting Yourself by BK CC

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