Life Lessons

Do It Now

If there is something you really want to do, don’t wait until tomorrow. Do it now. One day, I was having a short conversation with one of my best friends. The conversations with her were always short because she worked one full time job, one part time, and attended school full time, while raising two young girls on her own. Nevertheless, she made time to chat with me while in route to or from one of her jobs or school. Thinking about a typical day for my friend sparked something in me. I thought to myself, “If she’s able to work two jobs and take care of two little girls and still go back to school, what’s stopping me?” At the time, I had only one full time job, four kids, and a husband to help me out. I had so much down time at work that I found myself on social networks, browsing the Internet, and shopping. I knew I could have been making better use of my down time, but I just didn’t know how. Thus, I left a message for an enrollment counselor at the University of Phoenix to call me back. I didn’t receive a call back the first time, so after a second attempt, I was able to reach someone. The enrollment counselor asked me a few questions before explaining my options. He had me all pumped up and excited but nervous at the same time. I had been out of school for a while, and the last time I was enrolled, I failed terribly.

Prior to speaking with the enrollment counselor at Phoenix, I was denied financial assistance the last time I attempted to go back to school in 2004. I think I had sort of given up at that point because I knew I could not afford to pay out of pocket. One rejection set me back by four years because I didn’t fight for it. Anyhow, my goal was to start back in the spring of 2009, but the enrollment counselor talked me into starting right away. At first, I was kind of mad that I let him talk me into starting right away, but I was grateful in the end. I probably would have come up with a million and one excuses as to why I could not start in the January 2009.

On September 30, 2008, I became a college student once again. On June 2, 2012, I became a college graduate! Walking across that stage was one of the best feelings I’ve ever experienced. I have absolutely no regrets! So what are you waiting for? The right time is now! I could have been still sitting in that cubicle at work on social networks and shopping, but instead, I used that time wisely and pursued a degree online…while on the clock. That was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made at the expense of my employer. So whether you want to go back to school, start a business, or buy some property, don’t procrastinate…do it now!

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

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Photo. Flickr. There are times of QC failures by Markus Bahlmann

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The Marriage vs. The Wedding

Would you want a marriage or a wedding? The two are not interchangeable. A wedding is just a ceremony, but a marriage is a testimony. Sometimes we make decisions or commitments based on our status quo. Such commitment made out of anything other than love is not a marriage. So before you fasten your elegant dress sandals, just remember that the pain produced out of empty love is worse than the pain you will feel after dancing in those heels all night.

In a marriage, memories are created out of love, laughter, and living up to one’s expectations. Happiness comes from knowing you can trust and depend on your mate through the toughest times. Joy comes from knowing you are loved the same, no matter how much your looks might change. You accept that your mate is not perfect. But you relish in the fact that he or she is committed to pleasing you at all costs. You never feel lonely in a marriage. You never feel left out in a marriage. You never feel torn in a marriage, but you can become scorn when you find out all alone, you just had a wedding. Now this doesn’t imply that marriages are problem free. It’s just that people who are really in love with each other don’t let storms become disasters. You can’t always predict the weather in a marriage, but you can get a clear forecast in a wedding.

In a wedding, either one or both persons are not in love. Most of the time, it’s just one. It’s rare that two people who are not in love would even consider marriage. The person who is not in love has another interest(s). There are a number of reasons why a person would enter such agreement, but financial security, pregnancy, loneliness, religion, and acceptance are the top five on my list.

“If he has a lot of bling, marriage might be a good thing. Since I’m already with child, marriage fits the lifestyle. I’d rather have someone hold my hand than be alone in the stands. I don’t want to be judged or have bad luck, so I’d better stop shacking up. All my friends are married, so I better act now. I’m tired of standing out and living foul.”

Don’t get caught up in your feelings and insecurities. Instead of chasing money, seek a career. If your baby won’t be born into a loving family, then marriage won’t fix your problem. If you are lonely, join a social club. If you were so holy, you wouldn’t have been shacking up in the first place. And if your married friends don’t want to hang out anymore, find a new hobby or some new friends. If you go in with cold feet, you will come out with blisters. Therefore, don’t let anyone pressure you into getting married. When it’s your time, you’ll know it. If he is the one, he’ll show it. Marriage is easier to get into than it is to get out, so choose wisely.

When that time comes, don’t let money stop you from marrying your soulmate. The biggest weddings tend to have the biggest break ups, and the bigger the ring, the bigger might be his expectations. Don’t let the size of the wedding or the ring itself determine the strength of the love. The happiest marriage can come out of the smallest wedding. Trust me. I know firsthand:)

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topics suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

Photo: Flickr. Shoes, legs, & just a glimpse of… by Jlhopgood CC

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What LGBT Should Stand For

In my opinion, LGBT should stand for Let’s Give Back Together. As for the LGBT community, I can’t gauge how much they’ve given back to their individual communities, but at least they’ve taken the first step. I don’t support their movement, but I do admire how they come together with a common interest in an effort to achieve a common goal. I don’t see enough togetherness in the Black community and even some White communities because they are too divided by distrust, selfishness, greed, and hate. We as a people need to put our ill feelings aside and promote change in our individual communities, for the benefit of our youth. Children are watching our behavior, good and bad. Hence, we have to learn to lead by example. I’m sure we all want our kids to walk a straight path, but we must first master that skill ourselves. Instead of shaking our heads and bad mouthing lost and misguided kids, we need to figure out how we can win them over because they ARE our future, like it or not.

Ways that we can come together…

The best way to come together is through sports. Most people in America love sports. I’ve seen Blacks, Whites, and Latinos in harmony shouting from the bleachers and commenting on the plays and players. If you have a child that plays sports, organize a meeting with parents to discuss ideas for a youth social club. If your children are not involved in any sport or club, you should get them involved in something other than that game, cell phone, or laptop because it’s programming them to become robots. I don’t know if robots will ever become the wave of the future, but for now, they need to learn how to be humans. So many kids graduate from high school and even college without a clear understanding of their role in society. Consequently, they end up just like many of us, doing absolutely nothing of service in our communities. If you get paid to serve in your community, kudos to you! If you don’t, it’s because your role does not require payment. Do it proudly! You don’t have to get paid for everything you do, especially when serving a good cause.

Another way to come together is through church. If you are a church goer, just showing up every Sunday isn’t enough. Sitting on the front row every Sunday will not secure you a spot on the front row in heaven. Virtually every church has different ministries within it. If you are not serving on any, you should consider picking one. Nowadays, there are so many to choose from. Choose one that fits your calling, and you might stand a good chance of getting that front row seat in heaven.

Last but certainly not least, join an adult social club and serve with them. It’s also a great way to network and have fun while doing so. As you can see, coming together to give back is not so hard. Once you see the difference you can make using your time and talents, it will make your heart smile, if you have one.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topics suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

Photo: Flickr. Community Involvement by Southern Arkansas University CC

Something captured your interest? Don’t be selfish. Share with your friends!