Loyalty is often discussed but seldom practiced among some people. Possible reasons it isn’t practiced are because people don’t understand its true meaning or how to fit into their lifestyle. Would you expect loyalty from an unreliable, untrustworthy, or unstable person? However, the main reason could be the belief that the other person doesn’t deserve it.
How do you define loyalty?
Think about it for a few seconds or as long as it takes. Then ask yourself, “Do I practice loyalty”? If your answer is no, then you shouldn’t expect it in return. Loyalty is not all about reciprocity, but it is an important component of it.
In terms of relationships, Merriam-Webster defines the word loyal as “unswerving in allegiance to a person whom faithfulness is due”.
Google describes loyal as “giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution”.
I like both definitions, but I can resonate with Merriam-Webster more. It says to me that as long as we have this allegiance to each other, I will fulfill all my duties and responsibilities, regardless of how I feel. In other words, if we have a verbal disagreement or you didn’t like my Facebook post, it should not create distance or a change of heart. I will still show up to your event as if nothing ever happened.
In fact, if you were offended by my social media post in any way, though that was not my intent, I deserve a phone call or private message, not a thumb battle that could escalate and deter our friendship.
I can only imagine how many friendships were destroyed by social media alone.
Google’s definition can mean the same thing, but one wrong move will end the relationship and all ties to it. In other words, we have an alliance, but I’m not your friend. So many people fit into this category. That’s why so many people are confused about the status quo of their relationships.
I don’t think this type of loyalty is bad as long as the two of you are aware of the kind of relationship you have, so you won’t expect anything more or less. The confusion comes from thinking that everyone who is loyal to you is also your true friend.
You can very well be a loyal person and not a true friend, but you can’t be a true friend who is disloyal. Case and point: You can have the best rapport with your barber or beautician you frequent, but there are boundaries because you’re still a customer. The energy can switch from positive to negative quickly if you don’t pay up or he messes up your lining. Now you’re searching for a new barber, and your barber lost a loyal customer for making one mistake. Or perhaps, it wasn’t the first time 😲.
Which one do you identify with most?
Reciprocal loyalty or definitive loyalty? Reciprocal loyalty can fall under the one in which Google describes. For example, I will continually patronize your business as long as you’re providing quality products or services at competitive prices.
Sometimes the exchange is simply how that person makes you feel. For example, I will continually donate to my classmate’s fundraiser or charity because she’s a good person, and I like what she stands for.
Definitive loyalty can be one in which Merriam-Webster describes. For example, I will love you unconditionally and forgive you as often as needed. One misunderstanding will not change how I feel about you. We will settle our differences like adults and remain friends.
A true friend or partner exhibits this type of love, loyalty, and commitment. She enjoys being around you and will do anything for you. You can still count on her even though you haven’t spoken in six months. In any real friendship, this is what the person wants.
Choose wisely
Relatives are not true friends by default. Oftentimes, friends are more loyal and trustworthy. I am a living witness 🙋🏽♀️. You may not always be able to avoid seeing your relatives, but you can most certainly avoid getting burned by them.
I don’t discourage giving them a chance or trying to get along. But don’t expect them to be loyal to you just because you are family.
Treat everyone accordingly, but set boundaries as necessary. Most importantly, be the kind of loyalty you desire to attract.
And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.
Something captured your interest? Don’t be selfish. Share with your friends!
