Peace – Life Lessons

Living A Blessed Life

Your best life is a blessed life. If you’re reading this, you were blessed with sight, internet access, and the ability to touch. Doesn’t seem like much until you meet someone who cannot do all of the above.

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, try focusing on what you do have. I know it’s easier said than done at times, but you need to practice. Why? Because negative thinking leads to worrying. Worry leads to stress, and stress is the gateway to depression. You’ll find yourself eating too much or too less, or spending excessively, to name a few. Worst of all, you may pick up on a bad habit like smoking.

You may also need to take a step back from social media. Social media will give you a false representation of other people’s lives. Some people are living their best lives, and some are making it look that way. I love to see people in healthy relationships, taking nice vacations, and sharing their achievements. It’s inspiring! However, you have no idea of the trials and tribulations they face and what cross they may have to bear, so just be happy for them, and pray for those who are fabricating the life they desire.

Over the years, I’ve learned some disheartening things about people who I thought had it all together. I wish I had not known because I was rooting for them and relishing in their wins. Some people have nothing to say until they learn about one’s failures or fate. I often hear things like, “I didn’t know”. It’s because you didn’t need to know about the pain behind their progress. You were supposed to be rooting for them regardless.

Before I close, I’m going to dissect the phrase, “living my best life”. It simply means that the worst is behind you, you’re unbothered, and/or you’ve learned not to let your problems keep you from living. It has nothing to do with money or success. If you’re not living your best life, then learn to be okay with living your blessed life.

“The best thing about life is that you don’t have to do it all by yourself. When it gets too hard, give it to God🙏🏽”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

When The Clock Struck 45

I turned 45 years old on June 14, 2024. I didn’t look or feel any different, but my attitude and energy about certain things suddenly changed. I didn’t manifest these changes. They just happened.

It is what it is…..

The people in my life still matter, but the inactive ones just don’t matter as much anymore. No love is lost. I’ve just lost interest in reaching. The phone works both ways. I still care. I just don’t care whether they call, text, or show up for special events. And if they don’t acknowledge the second invitation, they won’t get a third.

Time has shown me that people make time for who they want to make time for, and it doesn’t matter whether they’re broke, broken, struggling, or grieving. I’m not making any excuses for anyone anymore. I’m no longer that friend you can call only when you’re in need. It is what it is.

Your feelings are your problem…..

As a Gemini woman, I have a pretty sharp tongue. My words can be used with love, kindness, or encouragement. But they can also be used to cut deep into your skin if I feel threatened, mistreated, used, or played.

I have really spared my tongue over the years after becoming a published author because I didn’t want to tarnish my reputation. Nevertheless, biting my tongue has not made me rich and wealthy.

I learned that if people are a fan of you just the way you are, they really don’t expect anything less. My audience is not weak and sensitive. So if you’re reading this, then neither are you.

No one can cancel me for speaking my mind. I’m no famous celebrity and don’t aspire to be one, especially if it comes at the expense of giving up my voice. If I wanted to do that, then I wouldn’t have self-published.

It’s a good thing I no longer have an interest in expressing my opinion on social media because my classmates really wouldn’t like me then. But, the feeling would be mutual because I don’t like some of them anyway. Most of my followers are alumni, family, and a few friends, and I’m not trying to impress or spare the feelings of neither anymore. However, they should be mindful of what they say to me or how they approach me in person.

I’m so glad my maturity and peaceful life keeps anyone who doesn’t like me or have done me wrong from living rent free in my head. I’m too blessed to think twice about people who add no value to my life. My posts have become more visual and less wordy. Besides, a picture speaks more than a thousand words.

I’m not perfect, but I’m not pitiful either. I’m not conceited, but my attitude is undefeated. I’m not petty, but my words can be painful. I’m not a celebrity, but I’m a force to be reckoned with, so be careful with me.

I’m happy, joyful, peaceful, and I love life. To know me is a blessing. To have me as a friend is a gift. To lose me is one of the worst things you could ever do. I’m no longer in the business of saving friendships. Either you’re in or you’re out. My circle of love has no room for backsliders.

I love it here…..

I’m finally feel free! Free from worrying about what I look like (self-consciously). Free from worrying about who likes me or accepts me and who doesn’t. Free from making other people’s problems my own. Free from people- pleasing. Free from giving too much of myself. Free from trying to fit in where I don’t belong. And free from allowing people to play on my generosity and good heart.

Most of these freedoms didn’t just happen, but I thought I’d share them all. I’d love to hear what you’re free from, but please don’t comment, “you’ve been this or been that”. Let me have my victory. I can’t stand it when people make a situation about themselves when I’m expressing my feelings. It’s like if a friend of mine tells me she just got married and I reply, “I’ve been married for 26 years. What took you so long?”

Although I’m proud of my personal growth and development, I have no regrets about how I used to be. I’m glad I didn’t seek revenge. I’m glad I didn’t pray on anyone’s downfall. I’m glad I remained humble and obedient. God has shown favor to me and my family. Plus, he’s elevated me in ways I never could’ve imagined.

I’ve never been a follower, but I’ve always been a leader. I’ve always been friendly and helpful. I’ve always been loyal, loving, caring, kind, patient, and understanding. I’ve never torn people down. I’ve never hurt anyone intentionally. And I’ve always had nothing but good things to say to people, so I couldn’t understand why it was easy to attack a person like me? I guess having character and morals make you the weakest link.

I left out plenty good characteristics about myself because this blog would then turn into another book. My name speaks for itself, and I practice what I preach. I take accountability for my actions and apologize when I’m wrong – unlike most people. Sadly, I’ve still been hurt and rejected by family, friends, and classmates.

However, this isn’t a pity post because I’m still standing and an amazing person. That will never change. In fact, I get better every day. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I’m just doing one of the things I do best – expressing my feelings. Don’t be afraid to do the same.

“Love others, but love yourself more. People will finesse you with their words and fool you with their actions.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

Mental Disability or Accountability?

A therapist can give you a clinical diagnosis of your behavior or feelings and strategies for overcoming them. But, let’s face it. Everyone is not battling with mental health issues. Some people are battling with morality issues. Others are weaponizing their mental disabilities.

Regular therapy sessions are meant to help you cope with your mental condition, not weaponize it. Thus, there’s no excuse for your abuse to others. Take full responsibility and accountability for your actions.

Every time you make a bad decision, you can’t keep blaming it on your mental state. You choose to deflect instead of accept the fact that you were wrong. I’m sure your therapist told you to take some responsibility and how to appropriately address the situation so you can heal. That’s their job. Your job is to listen and apply what you’ve learned.

Too many people in the world are gaslighting instead of igniting their inner strength to change their behavior. Regardless of your mental state, you need to learn to accept accountability for how you treat people.

No disorder should prevent you from acknowledging your role in any given situation or simply apologizing for your actions. If therapy and medication are not helping you with accountability, then you need prayer and supplication as well. Then you’ll have the trinity: spirit, therapy, and medication.

Nowadays, every behavioral trait has a clinical name. We’re putting more faith in what experts have to say instead of what God has been saying. No one can transform you but Him. Spiritual research reveals:

You can’t always have your way.

You can’t keep lying to people.

You can’t keep playing the victim.

You can’t always have the last word.

You can’t always be right.

You can’t always be first.

You can’t keep starting fights, yet expect to have a peaceful life.

Your disorder comes from thinking:

Everyone else is toxic.

Everyone else is disloyal.

Everyone else is untrustworthy.

Everyone else is unfaithful.

Everyone else is untruthful.

Everyone else is dishonest.

Everyone else is selfish.

Everyone else is narcissistic.

Everyone else is judgmental.

You sound like a saint, and no one can claim that title – not even priests and nuns.

Stop leaving yourself out of the equation of every altercation, disagreement, or misunderstanding. It doesn’t matter whether you come before or after a given sign, you’re still apart of the equation.

You can add (+) value with accountability. This is the best way to get someone’s attention and reduce tension.

You can eliminate (-) negative energy or unnecessary chatter by not reacting or overreacting. The person is easier to reason with when calm. This is your opportunity to get to the root of the problem by asking specific questions. Oftentimes, silence alone can kill many arguments.

You can intensify (*) an argument by involving others, bringing up irrelevant information, jumping to conclusions, using a negative tone, attacking the person instead of the problem, and etc.

You can always divide (/) and conquer. Every action does not deserve a reaction, especially when it comes from total strangers. You must learn to walk away.

Continue your therapy sessions. I fully support your remedy for mental reconstruction and self improvement. But if you’re checking every box except accountability, then now is the time to start.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

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