Mental Health – Page 2

A Message to My Followers

I’m taking a break this week because I’ve been inundated with preparing my youngest child for his high school graduation. It’s been a challenging journey, but I’m glad we’ve made it to the finish line.

I’d like to thank each of you from reading and engaging with my blogs. Your attention to my content is much appreciated. I hope I’ve helped you to overcome some obstacles in your life and become a better person, while keeping you entertained as well.

Reflection

I want you to remember the lessons discussed in the previous weeks and apply them to your life, so I will provide a brief recap of a few of the hot topics.

Don’t Limit Yourself with your tongue, bad habits, distractions, and by making excuses. You don’t have to be a giant to reach for the stars. You just need faith, willpower, and commitment.

Don’t Lose Yourself Trying to Find Yourself. Seek help from a professional and comfort and support from trusted family members and friends. Otherwise, your coping mechanism will become a lifestyle that can destroy you.

Learn To Be Happy In That Moment or live with grief and regret. Practice changing your thoughts and making yourself happy. Doses of happiness can lead to a lifetime of joy and peace.

A Real Friend Is Good To Have when you find yourself losing yourself trying to cope with any type of grief. Don’t be afraid to let someone in. Emotional exhaustion is a “human” experience.

Fake Friends Can Be A Real Problem because they are toxic, and toxins are known to destroy the body. A fake friend is nothing more than a parasite eating away at your life. If you value your mind, body, and spirit, detoxify your circle immediately.

Self Correction Is The Best Remedy For Change because no one can control your demons but you. Rebuke the evil spirit that lives within you so you can become a better version of yourself.

Your Best Look Is Maturity because ignorance is not fashionable. Like it or not, you are judged by how you react, not what you react to.

Kill Them With Confidence because your self-worth, dignity, reputation, and peace hold more value than someone’s worthless opinion.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

A Real Friend is Good to Have

Last week’s blog was entitled, Don’t Lose Yourself Trying to Find Yourself. It basically talked about the dangers of trying to cope with emotional distress which can lead to emotional exhaustion, if not treated properly. Emotional exhaustion is what occurs when one becomes burned out from trying to deal with stress on his or her own.

I can’t tell you who to trust, but you must learn to trust someone. I find that people struggle with defining real friendships nowadays, and I can see why. However, if you do have someone deemed a “real” friend, now is the time to test the waters. A real friend is one who is trustworthy, honest, caring, selfless, loyal, unbias, nonjudgmental, and has empathy and your best interest at heart. Plus, he or she is not jealous or envious in any way.

Over the years, numerous conversations I’ve had about friendships revealed that so many people have either toxic or empty friendships. A toxic friendship is poisonous, whereas an empty friendship is purposeless. If you haven’t learned to identify and dispose of the two, they will only add to your emotional exhaustion. Quit letting negative energy into your space and expecting positive outcomes. One who is not a real friend is a real distraction.

“I called and she came through like a real friend would”….

I lost one of my oldest sisters to cancer and a close brother-in-law to sudden death within five months apart. I was just learning to cope with my sister’s death before my brother-in-law’s death came as a real shock. I was not mentally prepared for another death in my family and certainly did not intend to wrap up 2021 with another funeral. My emotions were all over the place, as I managed to be strong for my kids and husband. There was already a lot going on with the pandemic and all, and death did not make it any better.

After I had become emotionally exhausted from playing “Perfect Patty” from Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married?, I decided it was time to let someone in. This was a tough decision for me because I suppress my emotions so I can counsel others. But what about me? I had to ask myself. Which of my friends can I trust and confide in with my feelings, who is also a good listener and will actually make time for me as I often do for others? When I thought of more than two, I realized how blessed I am to have a healthy circle of friends I can count on, when many don’t have one.

When you are experiencing a tough time in your life, call up that friend. Take people up on their offers to help you when they tell you, “I’m here for you, if you need me.” Don’t take that lightly. Make them accountable, or don’t call them your friends. When my sister died, I felt a kind of pain I had never felt before. When my friends learned of the sad news, they made offers and I gladly accepted them. Whenever God sends his disciples to bless you in a time of need, embrace them with grace.

If you are a good person and the friendship is genuine, you’d be surprised at how eager someone is to do something for you. The friend I called not only listened, but she drove over 60 miles, in the midst of high gas prices, to spend a day with me. She scheduled her visit with me and did not renege or make excuses. Like myself, she has a busy life as well, but she made time. Upon her arrival, we talked, laughed, ate, and listened to good music. The vibe was cool and friendly. We never left the house. We just enjoyed each other’s company in a closed space.

That was much needed, good therapy for me. Thankfully, I’ve never needed to hire a therapist. Between my husband, family, and friends, I get all the love and attention I need. But most importantly, I have learned to make self-care a priority in my life. You should do the same.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topic suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

Photo: Flickr by Cor Slee

Something captured your interest? Don’t be selfish. Share with your friends!

Don’t Lose Yourself Trying to Find Yourself

Certain events in life can cause you to re-evaluate your state of being. It could be loss of a loved one, a bad break up or ugly divorce, or a toxic relationship, to name a few. However, if you are not careful on your journey to finding yourself, you can surely lose yourself.

So what does this even mean?

Your sanity is at stake as you try to adjust to your “new normal”. Therefore, you might choose bad habits to help you cope in the interim.

Unless you predicted the outcome of something, then it may come as a shock to you. But even if you saw it coming, like in the case of a bad break up, divorce, any type of heartbreak, and even some fatalities, that doesn’t mean you were mentally prepared for it. When it comes to death, most are never mentally prepared to deal with it.

People often try to act as if they are not affected by such, especially when it’s humiliating and embarrassing, but certain behaviors or new habits usually reveal the truth.

You will first try to convince yourself that you are okay. Then you will try to convince others. Until you learn to admit that you’re not okay, you’re going to drive yourself nuts feigning happiness. You must learn to be okay with not being okay until you’ve adjusted to your new normal.

I get that you might want to be left alone for a while, especially right after the incident, but if you start developing bad habits during your period of distance, then you need to let people who love you help you. If you tell people you are okay when they check on you, they may believe you if they don’t notice a change in your behavior or have no evidence of your new vice.

Everyone copes with depression differently, so everything does not need to be shared. However, if your coping mechanism leads to self destruction, then you need to confide in someone you can trust, and that someone does not have to be a friend or family member.

You were not designed to fight every battle on your own. No matter how tough you may think you are, you will eventually meet your match in life. You might not turn to people for help, but if drugs (legal or illegal), alcohol, and crime could interact the way people do, you’d be a team player.

Don’t invite toxic guests to your team for emotional support when you’re trying to find yourself. Instead, you’ll find yourself locked up in a mental institution or corrective institution – or much worse than the two, needless to say.

If you have a healthy circle, invite those friends rather. Let them take you out, visit you, or just listen to you. That’s what they’re meant for.

If you don’t have anyone to confide in, then you should seek a spiritual advisor and/or a therapist.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topic suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

Photo: Flickr by Johanna Albert

Something captured your interest? Don’t be selfish. Share with your friends!