Self-Improvement – Page 3

Stop Living Vicariously Through Your Children

Children are the biggest blessing one could ask for. There’s nothing more beautiful than having a child in your own image. It’s a bonus when they actually look like you. But must they live in your shadow with smoother edges?

You’re lucky if your child wants to be like you. But children should be allowed to have their own identity, and you should encourage that. If by chance they do follow in your footsteps, don’t ruin the experience by curating their lifestyle to fit your taste. Their life is no art show. It’s their life.

You can’t use them as a time machine to go back and do things differently or more fashionably. Continue to work on yourself, for that is the best example you can give them. They’ll appreciate that more than you trying to make their moves fit your groove.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting your kids to look as good as you or better. Be smarter than you. Do more than you did. See things you didn’t. Go places you’ve never been. But when your heartfelt desires start putting too much pressure on them, you need to give them some time and space to think about what they want for their own lives.

Some men will go as far as signing their sons up for football when he might be better at baseball. It’s okay to keep them active, but let them choose their own sport.

Some women may encourage their daughters to join the dance team when she’d rather join the band. Does it matter which uniform she chooses as long as she’s involved in some extracurricular activity?

If you missed out on something your heart desired as a child, that does not make it okay to pursue or live it through your child. If she chooses to keep it simple for prom, then let her. If he chooses to go to prom alone, then let him. These are not acts of disobedience. They’re called choices.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are limits to choices. If you can afford to put your child in an excellent private school, but she prefers public school, that’s too bad. She shouldn’t have a choice, unless she can present valid reasons through research and other fact findings to defend her choice. Most kids won’t do that, by the way. Nevertheless, you must still be in agreement. Education is important. Her desire to wear street clothes, name brand, and exotic hair and nails to look cool is irrelevant.

If he doesn’t want to represent your alma mater, it should be okay as long as he is pursuing a good education and living his dream. If he chooses Alabama State Crimson Tide over the LSU Tigers, at least he’s still playing football.

Don’t kill their dreams with your agenda. Instead, celebrate their individuality and support their choices. You can find “me” in the word “dream”, but there are no alphabets that can form “you”.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

Photo: Flickr. Beauty Queen by Dancerdawg2luv

Something captured your interest? Don’t be selfish. Share with your friends!

Social Media Has No Filter For Your Feelings

I get it…Facebook asks you, “What’s on your mind?” Twitter asks you, “What’s happening? Instagram pretty much says, “Do you.” But do you have to?

Think of it like this. If you wouldn’t say or do it in public, then don’t say or do it on social media because it’s the same as doing it in public – only much worse. At least in public, only a group of people might witness your behavior, unless of course, someone records you. But when you take the liberty to post it on social media, you’ve been exposed to the whole world.

You can’t control other people’s actions, especially in a society where people seek an opportunity to catch someone off guard or in rare form for views, reactions, and shares. But you can control your own behavior, on and off of social media.

What’s your purpose?

Behind every post, there is a motive, whether it’s to share information, promote a product or service, get a reaction, seek advice or recommendations; for empathy, sympathy, entertainment, attention, and etc. However, you must understand that anything posted publicly welcomes comments – some you may like or dislike. Depending on how deep it is, it might go viral and trigger unfriendly memes.

You are not exempt from judgment in the cyber world. Trolls and bullies are standing by to disrupt your spirit. You thought it was safe to vent in your TikTok video or Facebook Live until the trolls gave you a rude awakening the next morning. Now you’re the poster child of an unfit mother or dead beat dad, savage single lady, or misogynistic male.

What you may have meant for entertainment might place you under attack, so beware. You do have every right to exercise Amendment #1 and post or upload content to your taste, but if you are a sensitive person, you should moderate your content and consider not posting it at all, especially if it’s personal.

Trolling and bullying are not cool, but some people live for this. If the site you’re posting on does not deem a person’s comment offensive, then you must train yourself to unsee it or be strong enough to just take. Or, you could spend countless hours debating and trying to defend yourself. If you have the time and energy, then go for it. But please leave your feelings on the bench because the trolls and bullies will show no mercy on the field.

Don’t take it personal, It’s virtual

Now that the trolls have remixed your message or content, you have two choices: you can either try to redeem yourself or just let it go. I suggest you just let it go because for one, it’s virtual. You can turn these people off at anytime by simply not logging on. It’s who you to let into your personal space that matters. For two, with so much going on in the world and new content being uploaded by the nanosecond, yours will soon be forgotten about. For three, people’s opinions do not define who you are. You do.

Words can hurt

Most people don’t post content to get a negative reaction, but that comes with it. You can try to pretend that the opinions of others don’t affect you, and it may not – until it hits that sensitive spot. We all have one. That’s what makes the whole ordeal unfair. People tend to attack you by bringing up points that have nothing to do with your argument. And that is when stuff starts to get personal.

You can combat all negative energy with positive content. Whether you believe it or not, your content says a lot about your character. If you don’t want to be judged by it, then don’t post it. It’s as confusing as a vegan posting a dish containing meat. You can’t promote eating clean with red meat on your plate. Do your cheating offline like everyone else😄.

We all have the freedom to do whatever we want to, so post whatever you’d like. Just be prepared for more than a “like”.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

Photo: Flickr. Social Media Prob by Clyde Harris

Something captured your interest? Don’t be selfish. Share with your friends!

A Message to My Followers

I’m taking a break this week because I’ve been inundated with preparing my youngest child for his high school graduation. It’s been a challenging journey, but I’m glad we’ve made it to the finish line.

I’d like to thank each of you from reading and engaging with my blogs. Your attention to my content is much appreciated. I hope I’ve helped you to overcome some obstacles in your life and become a better person, while keeping you entertained as well.

Reflection

I want you to remember the lessons discussed in the previous weeks and apply them to your life, so I will provide a brief recap of a few of the hot topics.

Don’t Limit Yourself with your tongue, bad habits, distractions, and by making excuses. You don’t have to be a giant to reach for the stars. You just need faith, willpower, and commitment.

Don’t Lose Yourself Trying to Find Yourself. Seek help from a professional and comfort and support from trusted family members and friends. Otherwise, your coping mechanism will become a lifestyle that can destroy you.

Learn To Be Happy In That Moment or live with grief and regret. Practice changing your thoughts and making yourself happy. Doses of happiness can lead to a lifetime of joy and peace.

A Real Friend Is Good To Have when you find yourself losing yourself trying to cope with any type of grief. Don’t be afraid to let someone in. Emotional exhaustion is a “human” experience.

Fake Friends Can Be A Real Problem because they are toxic, and toxins are known to destroy the body. A fake friend is nothing more than a parasite eating away at your life. If you value your mind, body, and spirit, detoxify your circle immediately.

Self Correction Is The Best Remedy For Change because no one can control your demons but you. Rebuke the evil spirit that lives within you so you can become a better version of yourself.

Your Best Look Is Maturity because ignorance is not fashionable. Like it or not, you are judged by how you react, not what you react to.

Kill Them With Confidence because your self-worth, dignity, reputation, and peace hold more value than someone’s worthless opinion.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”