Author: Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson

In short, I'm a work of ART (Aptitude, Responsibility, & Talent). My goal is to Attract, Retain, and Teach an audience between the ages of 14 to about 50 and beyond the disciplines of life. I've been blessed with the gift of giving knowledge and creating peace within the souls of many who are starving for spiritual satisfaction. I'm no prophet, but I do believe that I am one of God's chosen spiritual leaders and sources of information on how to walk a straight path down a crooked road.

Tell Him Thank You

Today, it is no secret that a good man is hard to find, but if you have one, are you thanking him for his services or only when he buys you a gift?

Why thank him for doing as he should?

Referring to the clause, “a good man is hard to find”, in the opening paragraph is one reason. It doesn’t matter what statistics show because plenty men do not identify with male as his gender nowadays. Therefore, your choices of heterosexual males are lesser.

You are competing with so many women who are qualified to take your place, so why not tell him thank you? They are certainly willing to do more than that. Consequently, be careful of who you vent to about that man, for she may surely try to take your place.

The second reason you should tell him thank you is because he deserves it. Did you know that every time you utter the words, “I want”, “I need”, or “I’d like to”, he immediately starts thinking of ways to make it happen? For one, he’s actually listening to you. For two, he wants to fulfill your every desire. For three, he’s willing to do whatever it takes to keep you happy because he loves you!

The third reason you should tell him thank you is because God handpicked him amongst many other qualified men to be your soulmate, so tell Him thank you as well.

You may not have been his first, but you wear his last name. He may be your second husband because the last one wouldn’t change. Perhaps he was a widower, so he knew how to treat a woman. Perhaps you were a widow and doubted finding a second husband.

Either way it goes, God shaped and molded him just for you. A little thank you goes a long way, just like the words, “I do”.

It goes both ways….

Now men, before you get all cocky, this goes for you to. Treat her like the queen she is, adorn her with your endless love, and compliment her overall beauty and attractiveness often because if you don’t, someone else surely will.

If you’re not used to doing this now, start trying and see how it changes the dynamic in your relationship.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topic suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

Photo: Flickr by Lynn Herrera

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Why are Men Intimidated by Alpha Females?

My definition of an alpha female is one who exudes a striking confidence based on strength, values, purpose, and priorities. Her caliber, intellect, and acumen score high on the quality chart. Dictionary.com describes the alpha female as “a powerful and successful woman , often in a leadership role. Alpha females are often described as intimidating by men and women alike.”

Aptitude + Attitude = Alpha

An alpha is not just a persona. It’s an attitude. Her demeanor is formidable, and her presence alone speaks volume. You can be a very successful and powerful CEO of a company getting abused or bullied by your significant other at home. Hence, that social strength and ability must transcend across multiple facets of life to be deemed an alpha female.

Titles such as queen, diva, baddie, or boss don’t make you alpha either, especially if you’re not living up to it. You are the one who can catch yourself when you fall (strength). You are the one who wants a man for companionship and love but does not need him to pay your bills (values). You are the one who finds your niche instead of a job (purpose). And you are the one who does not mix business with pleasure (priorities). All these traits make you powerful and successful, not just your job title or social status. You’re a leader in every role you play in life.

Why some males are intimidated by you?

The main reason could be that he may have insecurities. A woman of your caliber may make him feel insignificant and unworthy. When you make bread and are a winner, you’re a double threat. When you combine that with wanting him but not needing him, you become a triple threat. Your recipe is too strong for his taste because he feels as though he cannot complement you. Your strengths and abilities highlight his weaknesses and make him feel inferior. He may actually be your match, but your energy intimidates him. Your kind are usually unapproachable and impatient. Thus, his pickup line needs to be direct, original, and concise.

Alpha females, you don’t have to reduce yourself or lower your standards to find love. As long as he meets your requirements, learn to accept him at his current level, foster his plan, support his goals, let him lead, and provide guidance as needed. Most importantly, make him feel needed regardless if he’s a white or blue collar worker.

Qualified fellas, don’t let fear cause you to miss out on a great opportunity. She’s only protecting her throne. But make sure you rehearse those lines before bringing them to her table, and show no signs of weakness. Otherwise, she will surely reject you. Lastly, don’t be afraid to approach her in your work uniform because that is evidence that you are employed and socially responsible. If you can make her laugh or smile, that’s a plus!

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topic suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

Photo: Flickr by Ria Ledevre

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Kill Them with Confidence

Last week’s blog was entitled, Your Best Look is Maturity. I discussed how an adjustment in your attitude can improve conflict resolution. This week, I will share an important aspect of maturity.

Was It Really Necessary?

It took me a while to learn that every action did not deserve a reaction. I wouldn’t say I had always reacted to every jab thrown at me, but I did let some attack me emotionally. I would vent my frustrations and explanations on social media in full-length paragraphs. Then the comments would start rolling in from my virtual audience.

Though my messages were always solid and on point, I later realized they weren’t necessary. My character and accomplishments spoke for themselves.

Don’t Let Others Define You

I thought I had to be this perfect example for my peers because people expected nothing but the best from me. Growing up, I was known as this intelligent kid with a sweet spirit and bright future. I was gregarious and treated everyone with love and respect. I never intentionally broke the rules or behaved badly at home or school. Plus, I maintained a spot on the “A” Honor Roll and received many other accolades in school. Consequently, I was called a nerd and teacher’s pet.

I had no problem meeting anyone’s expectations until I became pregnant at 17, right after high school.

Here are a couple of remarks I received:

Janitor: You waited until you got out of school to do that?

Classmate: Bianca, how could you let this happen to you?

So much more was said prior to the pregnancy because I was dating a football jock. Plus, it was unlikely for me to be dating anyone. At the time, those words did hurt, but I didn’t know how to use my voice to defend myself. I could’ve lashed out on the classmate, but I was taught to respect my elders.

For years, I couldn’t understand why so many people had a negative opinion about me, when all I’d ever said were nice things to people, unless I felt attacked in an argument. From my choice to conceive, get married, stay in my marriage, relocate, and conceive again, the criticism was ongoing amongst family, friends, and peers. Whether I was winning or losing in life, seems like someone always had something to say about it. Can I get a witness?

I’m actually glad I didn’t find my voice until later in life because I would’ve had much more conflict. Seems like when I did, I had become too reckless at times. There was no balance. I was either hot or cold. I guess it was from years of biting my tongue and suppressing my feelings.

Kindness is Still Cool, but Confidence is Key

I was taught to kill people with kindness, and I still practice this virtue. But as I’ve grown wiser, I found it more powerful to kill people with confidence. You do so by not seeking validation.

You don’t need anyone’s permission or approval to be who you are. You were uniquely designed and custom made to fulfill your individual destiny. There’s a valid reason the for the “divide” in the word “individual”. No two people are the same, not even twins.

Be Yourself and Nothing Else

Whatever you do in life, do it with so much finesse until you exceed your own expectations, but don’t ever try to meet anyone else’s. That goes for your parents too. It creates too much anxiety and unnecessary stress. Do whatever you want to and be whomever you want to, not who they want you to be. The peace you will gain is painless and priceless!

Whatever choices you make, you must live with them. Should you make the wrong choice, have enough faith and confidence in yourself to make an epic rebound.

And remember… “Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topic suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

Photo: Flickr. Confidence by Mario

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