Author: Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson

In short, I'm a work of ART (Aptitude, Responsibility, & Talent). My goal is to Attract, Retain, and Teach an audience between the ages of 14 to about 50 and beyond the disciplines of life. I've been blessed with the gift of giving knowledge and creating peace within the souls of many who are starving for spiritual satisfaction. I'm no prophet, but I do believe that I am one of God's chosen spiritual leaders and sources of information on how to walk a straight path down a crooked road.

Mental Disability or Accountability?

A therapist can give you a clinical diagnosis of your behavior or feelings and strategies for overcoming them. But, let’s face it. Everyone is not battling with mental health issues. Some people are battling with morality issues. Others are weaponizing their mental disabilities.

Regular therapy sessions are meant to help you cope with your mental condition, not weaponize it. Thus, there’s no excuse for your abuse to others. Take full responsibility and accountability for your actions.

Every time you make a bad decision, you can’t keep blaming it on your mental state. You choose to deflect instead of accept the fact that you were wrong. I’m sure your therapist told you to take some responsibility and how to appropriately address the situation so you can heal. That’s their job. Your job is to listen and apply what you’ve learned.

Too many people in the world are gaslighting instead of igniting their inner strength to change their behavior. Regardless of your mental state, you need to learn to accept accountability for how you treat people.

No disorder should prevent you from acknowledging your role in any given situation or simply apologizing for your actions. If therapy and medication are not helping you with accountability, then you need prayer and supplication as well. Then you’ll have the trinity: spirit, therapy, and medication.

Nowadays, every behavioral trait has a clinical name. We’re putting more faith in what experts have to say instead of what God has been saying. No one can transform you but Him. Spiritual research reveals:

You can’t always have your way.

You can’t keep lying to people.

You can’t keep playing the victim.

You can’t always have the last word.

You can’t always be right.

You can’t always be first.

You can’t keep starting fights, yet expect to have a peaceful life.

Your disorder comes from thinking:

Everyone else is toxic.

Everyone else is disloyal.

Everyone else is untrustworthy.

Everyone else is unfaithful.

Everyone else is untruthful.

Everyone else is dishonest.

Everyone else is selfish.

Everyone else is narcissistic.

Everyone else is judgmental.

You sound like a saint, and no one can claim that title – not even priests and nuns.

Stop leaving yourself out of the equation of every altercation, disagreement, or misunderstanding. It doesn’t matter whether you come before or after a given sign, you’re still apart of the equation.

You can add (+) value with accountability. This is the best way to get someone’s attention and reduce tension.

You can eliminate (-) negative energy or unnecessary chatter by not reacting or overreacting. The person is easier to reason with when calm. This is your opportunity to get to the root of the problem by asking specific questions. Oftentimes, silence alone can kill many arguments.

You can intensify (*) an argument by involving others, bringing up irrelevant information, jumping to conclusions, using a negative tone, attacking the person instead of the problem, and etc.

You can always divide (/) and conquer. Every action does not deserve a reaction, especially when it comes from total strangers. You must learn to walk away.

Continue your therapy sessions. I fully support your remedy for mental reconstruction and self improvement. But if you’re checking every box except accountability, then now is the time to start.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

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What’s Your Purpose in Life?

Whether or not it has been discovered yet, you were born with a purpose. Purpose is your spiritual responsibility and service to society or the universe. Are you doing what you want to do or what you were called to do? It’s an important question because we were all given an assignment to complete before leaving earth.

Oftentimes, purpose is discovered within a gift. A gift is unique quality acquired naturally. Sometimes others see it in you before you do. Nevertheless, it’s up to you to cultivate it.

Gifts aren’t always as desirable as one would like, but they usually have the biggest impacts. For example, many preachers did not dream of serving in that way, but they bless so many people with their sermons and other religious or spiritual services.

In fact, using a gift to serve with purpose can actually become burdensome if you don’t know when and how to say no. You must also know when to take a break.

Talent can count as purpose as well. Though it may be a hobby for you, it can be a gift to someone else. For example, making wigs for cancer patients is a great way to serve with your talent. Cancer survivors like to switch up too. I know my deceased sister did. When she felt like having hair, she had a large collection to choose from, which was as beautiful as she.

Like gifts, talents can become burdensome when used to serve with purpose as well. An enjoyable activity can easily become a nuisance when it starts to feel like a job, and you’re not getting paid for it. That takes the fun out of it.

My husband refuses to monetize his passion for cooking or commit to a series of scheduled events. He does it out of pure love whenever it’s convenient for him.

If your purpose is also your passion and it’s paying, good for you! But if your purpose feels painful, then you should adjust your attitude about it and put the needs of others before pity.

Practice vs Purpose

What you practice could be your career or personal interest. It’s what you “choose” to do. I wouldn’t refer to a job as a practice because it may not be something you choose or like to do. It may just be something you must do to sustain a living or pay some bills until you get into your career.

You’re Special

You should never feel insignificant once you’ve discovered your purpose in life. No one else can do what you can exactly the way you do it. You are too unique and incredible to ever go unnoticed. Don’t be stingy with your gift. Share it with the world!

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

Something captured your interest? Don’t be selfish. Share with your friends!

Let’s Talk About Loyalty

Loyalty is often discussed but seldom practiced among some people. Possible reasons it isn’t practiced are because people don’t understand its true meaning or how to fit into their lifestyle. Would you expect loyalty from an unreliable, untrustworthy, or unstable person? However, the main reason could be the belief that the other person doesn’t deserve it.

How do you define loyalty?

Think about it for a few seconds or as long as it takes. Then ask yourself, “Do I practice loyalty”? If your answer is no, then you shouldn’t expect it in return. Loyalty is not all about reciprocity, but it is an important component of it.

In terms of relationships, Merriam-Webster defines the word loyal as “unswerving in allegiance to a person whom faithfulness is due”.

Google describes loyal as “giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution”.

I like both definitions, but I can resonate with Merriam-Webster more. It says to me that as long as we have this allegiance to each other, I will fulfill all my duties and responsibilities, regardless of how I feel. In other words, if we have a verbal disagreement or you didn’t like my Facebook post, it should not create distance or a change of heart. I will still show up to your event as if nothing ever happened.

In fact, if you were offended by my social media post in any way, though that was not my intent, I deserve a phone call or private message, not a thumb battle that could escalate and deter our friendship.

I can only imagine how many friendships were destroyed by social media alone.

Google’s definition can mean the same thing, but one wrong move will end the relationship and all ties to it. In other words, we have an alliance, but I’m not your friend. So many people fit into this category. That’s why so many people are confused about the status quo of their relationships.

I don’t think this type of loyalty is bad as long as the two of you are aware of the kind of relationship you have, so you won’t expect anything more or less. The confusion comes from thinking that everyone who is loyal to you is also your true friend.

You can very well be a loyal person and not a true friend, but you can’t be a true friend who is disloyal. Case and point: You can have the best rapport with your barber or beautician you frequent, but there are boundaries because you’re still a customer. The energy can switch from positive to negative quickly if you don’t pay up or he messes up your lining. Now you’re searching for a new barber, and your barber lost a loyal customer for making one mistake. Or perhaps, it wasn’t the first time 😲.

Which one do you identify with most?

Reciprocal loyalty or definitive loyalty? Reciprocal loyalty can fall under the one in which Google describes. For example, I will continually patronize your business as long as you’re providing quality products or services at competitive prices.

Sometimes the exchange is simply how that person makes you feel. For example, I will continually donate to my classmate’s fundraiser or charity because she’s a good person, and I like what she stands for.

Definitive loyalty can be one in which Merriam-Webster describes. For example, I will love you unconditionally and forgive you as often as needed. One misunderstanding will not change how I feel about you. We will settle our differences like adults and remain friends.

A true friend or partner exhibits this type of love, loyalty, and commitment. She enjoys being around you and will do anything for you. You can still count on her even though you haven’t spoken in six months. In any real friendship, this is what the person wants.

Choose wisely

Relatives are not true friends by default. Oftentimes, friends are more loyal and trustworthy. I am a living witness 🙋🏽‍♀️. You may not always be able to avoid seeing your relatives, but you can most certainly avoid getting burned by them.

I don’t discourage giving them a chance or trying to get along. But don’t expect them to be loyal to you just because you are family.

Treat everyone accordingly, but set boundaries as necessary. Most importantly, be the kind of loyalty you desire to attract.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

Something captured your interest? Don’t be selfish. Share with your friends!