May 2016 – Page 6 – Life Lessons

Time Waits On No One

Have you ever lost money in a gamble, bet or some other bad decision? Did you eventually recoup those funds over time? I sure hope so. Even if you didn’t recoup all of it, you should’ve regained a fraction of it, if you work full time. Regardless of how it was lost or how much was lost, there are myriad ways of earning back money.

What I find to be just as valuable as money is time. In some cases, time is more valuable than money. For instance, let’s say you have to miss a day of work to spend time with your daughter or son who’s going off to college or the military. Would you consider that time with him or her more valuable than the money you lost from missing work? Besides, if missing one day of work causes you to fall into a financial crunch or miss a meal, you should consider finding a new job or side hustle. Don’t ever let a job dictate your life because employers will continue to eat and maintain their affluent lifestyles in your absence.

You have to learn to prioritize time and money in order of importance on a daily basis. You will miss your calling chasing money. You will miss your child’s graduation chasing money. You may even lose your spouse chasing money. Some things are more important than money itself. By all means, work your job or run your business because you have to make a living somehow. But don’t take on more than you can handle just for a couple of dollars. You’ll find yourself sleeping less, sick more, and spending less time with your loved ones. At some point, we all have to make sacrifices, but don’t use them as an excuse to bailout out of your responsibilities and commitments. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that people have time and money for what they want to have it for. You don’t have time to entertain your friend’s new business venture, but you don’t miss a happy hour. You don’t have time to support a worthy cause, but you never miss a big event. Didn’t I just see you at the comedy show last weekend? I thought that was you. Yes you. The one who never seems to have time for anything or anyone.

Just remember this one thing…If you don’t make time for your loved ones, don’t expect them to make time for you when you need it most. Once time is lost, you can never get it back.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topics suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

Photo: Flickr. Time by Sean MacEntee CC

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Moms Matter More

No disrespect to the fathers, but mothers do a heck of a lot more. We are assigned to some duties by default, like breastfeeding, nurturing, counseling, and of course, carrying the load. Other duties and responsibilities include cooking, cleaning, potty training, grooming, helping kids with homework and school projects, attending school programs and meetings, attending medical appointments, making sure their temperatures stay normal, trying to understand their behavior, managing the file system, and etc. In short, we are caregivers, babysitters, social workers, doctors, cooks, housekeepers, bookkeepers, teachers, artists, stylists and etc. We wear so many hats that there’s no way that I can possibly name them all. We think about our kids when they are with us and even when they are not. We even hear the voice or cry of a child in their absence. I know it sounds a bit scary, but it’s true. I had to ask another mother if she had experienced the same thing, so I wouldn’t think I was going crazy. I’m not saying that a father’s role is easy, but if you place the two on a pendulum, a mother’s role would outweigh that of a father’s any day.

When speaking about mothers, there is no one type. There are single mothers, married mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers, mothers who have children with special needs, and women who act as mothers. Single mothers are usually single either by choice, abandonment, incarceration, or death. Nevertheless, the pain each one feels is different. A single mother by choice or abandonment might be battling a broken heart from a failed relationship. But she can never use that as an excuse to stop taking care of her kids. Whether or not she receives support from the father does not make her job much easier. A mother who is single by incarceration might be battling a broken heart and legal issues. A widowed mother has to battle a broken heart from a loss, loneliness, and legal matters, if she has to bear the financial burden, too. Regardless of how any of the aforementioned became single, her job is much harder if she has to pick up all the financial responsibilities.

Stepmothers, I like how you treat your stepchild or children as your own. Grandmothers, I honor you for taking care of your grandchildren, after being done with raising your own.

Women taking care of kids with special needs, we love you. You too have a special need to be acknowledged because you are God’s chosen ones. Women acting as mothers, the world couldn’t do without you because you picked up a responsibility that you did not create.

To all mothers and mothers to be: I love and honor you for fulfilling God’s assignment, keeping your commitments, and owning up to your duties and responsibilities. As long as you are a mother to someone, your job will never be done. With that being said, you don’t stop parenting once they turn 18. Without you or some model figure, they’ll never grow to their full potential.

If I left out any fabulous group of mothers, I sincerely apologize. Feel free to add in comments.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

Submit topic suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

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When 50/50 Becomes 80/20 in Marriage

Would you agree that marriage isn’t always 50/50? I’d have to say that it is never 50/50. That would imply that each responsibility is always evenly divided. With 18 years of experience, I can assure you that is not the case for a practical, healthy marriage. First, let me tell you what I mean by practical and healthy in terms of marriage. In a practical marriage, everything is not always going to be consistent, and everyday invites new challenges or opportunities. Plus, some responsibilities are shared. For example, a housewife who accepts a full-time job and attends school may not be able to hold up her end of the bargain every day. The added responsibilities consume most of the free time she once had. Hence, her husband may have to either pick up some of the responsibilities or they become shared. Consequently, he might be pulling 80 percent while she’s only pulling 20 some days.

A happy marriage is not necessarily a healthy marriage, if you’re only happy when everything goes your way. What ever happened to compromising? So you’d prefer light cabinets, but he prefers dark. You want the Mercedes, so you convince him not to get the BMW. You want the more expensive home that is closer to your job as the opposed to the more affordable one that would put both of you half way. Basically, if you’re the only one happy in the marriage, then it is indeed not healthy because if your spouse ever gets in a position where he or she cannot satisfy you, you’ll probably be ready to throw in the towel. In a healthy marriage, love should be enough. Where there is love, there is should be adequate satisfaction.

What about when you’re ill or in your feelings? Come on, now. Don’t act like you don’t get in your feelings sometimes, especially us females. My monthly visitor creates an indescribable, inevitable imbalance that changes my whole personality. Mother nature sure has her way of bringing out the worst in women. Does he really expect you to give 100 percent when you turn into the Tasmanian Devil? I wouldn’t dare, if the tables were turned. To be honest, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who is only willing to pull 50 percent of the weight. No one can be 100 percent every day, but if you only commit to 50 in the first place, you’re at the half mark of a failing marriage. If you desire for your marriage to last, be an example of how you would like your spouse to be.

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them!

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topics suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

Photo: Flickr. Marriage by Takashi Hososhima CC

Something captured your interest? Don’t be selfish. Share with your friends!